Widows might

Why is enough not enough?

I have struggled for the past 12hrs to try and understand why what i do is never enough. I have noticed that no matter what you do, the world always wants more.

We are all neck deep in this world of "do more for me" that we do not take the time to really appreciate the things that people do, small as it might be to you. I had in the past been guilty of this but as the years roled on, i have learned to accept people and appreciate them for who they are and the things they do.

Expectations! That is the problem of the world. It is no longer about what you get but what you expect of the person. I try as much as i can to explain this to people but it seems that it all flies out of the other ear or i cannot get a word in.

Kids are no longer happy with the little the parents can afford. Now, they write a list of things they want not bothering to think about how the parents will pay for the things. Gone are the days when as kids, our eyes would light up cos daddy came back home from work with a packet of biscuits for us to share. We were taught to appreciate the things we were given and not have expectations of people cos when they do not live up to our grand billing, we criticise them for not doing enough.

I happen to be one of those people that get affected by people who criticise me for not living up to there expectations, chosing not to look at the big picture and see that i have indeed tried to do much more than they expect. We place to much emphasis on the little things while the really important things get no mention.

You might wonder why i am venting this morning but as usual, i will not go into specifics. I have been smacked on the head, face and butt by someone that has expectations of me but forgets to appreciate the effort i put in to do the things she pays little attention to.

How many of us actually realise that a person that decides to drive for miles to come and pay you a visit has just risked life? If i was sitting down in my living room watching the premiership as other guys would have done, i will not put my life in the hands of other road users as myself. Road users i know not who they are. How many Husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends have met untimely deaths just because they are on the road, trying to do one thing or the other for a partner? Can you legislate for a drunk driver or boy racer coming from nowhere? Is my life not worth much more than gold or whatever thing you are criticising me for not doing?

I am truly hurt, much more than i can write because my time, precious as it might be to me, means nothing to other people. Not the fact that i stood up other people either, people i might add that mean a great deal to me.

What is it with people that want you to give to them the little intangible things they hold so dearly while that which you cherish and give means nothing?

I ask that before you criticise me for not laughing at your joke, not looking at the tv screen the way you like, not watching a tv program that you are enjoying, not trying hard enough to stay awake at night after a long day, not buying the type of chocolate you want, not reacting when you start acusing me of all sorts, not shutting up cos you say so, listening to you and trying to put forward my own case, that you take a moment to appreciate the fact that i am there in the first place.

I am not saying that i am the big i am so my presence should be celebrated with 12 virgins, all i am saying is appreciate me enough not to criticise everything i do cos it is because i appreciate you that i do the "little" that goes un-noticed.